Validation of the Scream

I want to scream everyday. I want words for the screams but I don’t always have them. Maybe I do have them, but my liberal arts education reminds me of how informed I should be before I speak my mind. Should I temporarily censor my feelings and opinions because I fear I might be ignorant to something obvious or important? I do not fear but rather encourage others to talk me down. I am willing to accept another’s opinion, but still must I wait before I scream?

I have offended people my whole life. More so, they were offended by me. I do not seek to hurt a feeling or viciously rub the sand paper against a sore subject. I do mean to rock the boat a little. Life is not stable. The future is wobbly. Why do so many remain conservative in their articulations in an attempt to fake it? We fear extremism. Mind-speakers undermine the authority of governments, more generally they undermine the status quo.

Perhaps the tide is turning. Edward Snowden lives. Wikileaks is published by Hollywood, but who has glorified these saboteurs? The “Mainstream Media.” Is the government being subverted or is it all just part of the game? Ah look at me, today’s scream is turning into a paranoid rant. Let’s rein it in.

What must I consider when I publicly express myself? The audience, of course. I was long under the impression that considering or “knowing” your audience was a process intended to mold one’s expression in an attempt to make it more accessible. Accessibility is quite relative. So I must measure the accessibility of my art based on the composition of my audience. That is, if I seek to reach them, to pull them in, to garner their interest.

I have had a great deal of trouble coming to grips with this, which seems to be a certain reality of my experience. A large part of me seeks to reject it. How can I create and express in the way that I want, in the way that I need, if all I ever do is produce work on terms other than my own. Popular art has been reduced to a conglomeration of advertising campaigns. I will not suffer the same defeat.

With this I propose to future audiences of mine and every other’s expression of art or opinion is that you understand it as it affects the spectacle and as the spectacle intends to affect the spectator, rather than imposing the status quo upon the spectacle and searching for some intolerable deviance that then denies validation for the particular expression. Close your eyes and inhale.

In either case I will be fine. I will continue to consider my audience, but through them I shall seek validation no longer. I will give that to myself.